Moving on

The year’s come to an end and I’m going to do what a million others all over the world are doing. Too bad, I have to churn out entries on a regular basis to meet the growing demands of the world, or I’ll be pronounced dead by the end of today. So, there you go, ENJOY.

I don’t know about all of you out there, but moving on is kind of hard for me. I’m sure it is for many others too, though they don’t show it. It’s definitely not easy to leave everything behind and go on without looking back, but we survive. For loads of us, this year has been a year of separations, and though we grieve, we move on. A million heartbreaks, deaths, and other indescribable happenings, but we grit our teeth and plod on. (I probably sound like a freaking principal now, and it’s all you-know-who’s fault.)

This entry is dedicated to those like me who find the process a very difficult one. The words moving on bring to mind a poem we did in school: Broken Roots. It’s about how the author was uprooted from his hometown and had to travel around, seeing new faces, places and suffering. So much that he couldn’t ‘hold on’ to any place. I think us as humans, moving on in life face a similar crisis. We’re ripped away from familiarity and put in the midst of strangers, and not everybody adapts straight away.

Some of us are put in places so far away that all contact we have left with our past is memories. This is when we start to get depressed and dwell on the past and etc, etc. Sometimes it’s just easier to sit moaning and blame others for the situation you’re in.
We are so resistant to change that we hold tightly to the past in the hope that it might come back. It’s good to remember the past, but not so much that you miss what’s happening in the present.
It’s true that some things should never be forgotten, but what good would it be to keep reliving the past when you’re letting go of your present and possibly your future? What’s happened has happened and change is definitely needed in order for things to keep moving. Can you imagine what would happen if the earth stopped spinning cuz it’s afraid of changing its position? Now, I know it’s not going to happen, cuz 1. The earth cannot think for itself (It would be scary if it could, seeing the copious amounts of s**t we’re depositing on it everyday.) and 2. It just doesn’t happen.
I know I’m crap at coming up with effective examples for things, but I hope you get me. Change is just how things work. Some things have to move away and give way for new things. The process is hard but necessary. We have to lose things in order to gain others.

I’m not saying that we go out and scratch away every single piece of past information from our brain, but just let them be. It’s like a wound; if you keep picking at it, it’ll never heal and you’ll always be in too much pain to notice what’s happening around you. If you leave it be, it’ll heal in time and there’ll just be a faint scar to indicate it’s existence once, but you don’t feel any pain.
We can move on in life, leaving behind the bittersweet memories of this time and age and, in their place, attain newer, more beautiful memories.

When we are feeling particularly nostalgic, we could always come back and visit for free, basking in the beauty of the old days. Gosh, I’m seriously beginning to sound like an old woman and I shall end it here: my last entry for the year 2006. Happy New Year, Everybody!

US

Sigh…this is probably a bit late to be reminiscing, but I shall do it all the same. This post will be dedicated to my wonderful friends of 05/06. Yeah, I know farewell assembly was almost 2 mths ago and grad night was –gasp- only eight days ago!
I bet everyone else has already done their share of crying and reminiscing, and I’m horribly late…. Oh well, I guess I’m just slow at these things.

Firstly, I want to thank my ‘gang’, as Angela once put it, for everything you’ve given me over these two years. I still remember so vividly how I met each of you. Don, Divv, Karm and Triv, you have been such great friends, and nothing can ever replace the fun we all had together. God, I’ve really grown to love the four of you so much and it just hit me (a little slow, but still very hard) that we might not be together as a ‘gang’ ever again. That mere thought brings tears to my eyes.
Remember how much we enjoyed sneaking off Chem lessons to go to the National library? (stupid, yeah, I know….Triveni was protesting all the way.) Remember the various movies we watched together in the school library, and I always talked and laughed so loudly, prompting everybody studying to go, ‘SHHHHHHHHH’, and the poor Library Auntie, who always didn’t have the heart to scold us to merely glance at us while Don spanked me and I continued laughing, and everyone ended up laughing with me.

Remember the times we sneaked food into the classroom and ate while the teacher’s back was turned? Remember the times we always criticized every teacher behind his or her back, how Don always mimicked Mrs. Rupa saying, “Andrew” so perfectly, and how Triv always said, “ I wanna go hoooooome” exactly as Mrs. Stockmann did in the movie, and how cute Karmen always laughed with no sound, and I couldn’t resist making fun of that, making everyone laugh harder.

Remember how Don always bought papaya milkshake and drank it even though she hated it cuz it would make her boobs bigger and wouldn’t share it with anyone cuz she claimed that we all had enough. Remember how we always teased Divya about Mr. M. and she always swore to kill us? Remember how we teased Triv about ****** and she always blushed even though she claimed she didn’t.

Remember all the times we went off for lunch and came back late for Biology lectures in the hall and we never listened to Mrs. Yip, but we just did wtvr we fancied. Divya drew women while I drew fully coloured biology diagram and Karmen did math almost obsessively, and Don just went on reading romance after romance while Triveni just sat there, trying to get all our attention and went on banging the table until someone looked up at her.

Remember how Divya always had to go to the loo every 30 mins to wash her face and arrange her hair and fold her skirt. She always complained how tight her clothes were getting and we all insisted that she could be a model. In fact, we still think so. Remember how we spent hours making Milo during night study, and trying out the various biscuits, and complaining that they didn’t provide nice biscuits.

Remember how the Library Auntie always gave in to my simple desires cuz she claimed I looked so innocent and forlorn? Remember how we always spent more time talking than actually studying during night study sessions and we always regretted that we had but did it the next time anyway?

Remember the various evenings we spent bathing together in the bathroom, sharing soap and shampoo and laughing manically all the time? Remember how we spent hours wandering around Tanglin Mall, waiting for the lunchtime menu at Mac’s and gushing over the toys at the toyshop and gasping at the extremely high prices?

Remember how we all found Bobbles repulsive, except for Don, who was treating it like it’s alive. (I’ve err…. learned to love it since.) Remember all the recesses we had, laughing at Divya’s obsession over Banana Cake, and then the kuehs from the Malay stall. Remember how she always attempted to speak in Chinese to all the vendors and charmed them into giving her free food? (I’m still convinced that you’re a talented hypnotist, Divya….no one is more charming than I am.)
Remember how everyone, including GARY TAN was laughing at me while I was reading out my poem, cuz I was so breathless, it sounded soooooo wrong? Remember how Don always liked to imitate Mrs. Rupa saying ‘Body’ in that sexy (or so she thought, maybe) voice, reducing me to giggles? Remember how Don and I discussed why they would put all of us in Woodbridge for madness?

I would be put in first, cuz I’m naturally mad, and Don would follow, cuz she’s my best friend, and We’d drag Divya in cuz she’s obsessed with food, and she’d spend her time eating banana cakes and kuehs. Karmen was easy too, cuz she always did math in her free time, and they could just give her a load of math papers to do to keep her happy.

They would then put Triveni in and she would just bang on the doors, screaming, “ Let me ouuuuut!!!” I dunno if anyone else would find it funny, but we all did. And Triveni, that ‘hole’ you gave me with your pen is still there. Gosh, there isn’t enough space to put in everything even if I wanted to…. I miss you all terribly.

These past 2 years were simply beautiful and I never wanted it to end. We were just carefree teenagers, having all our girly concerns and bickering…oh that reminds me… Don and Triveni’s fights, which they claimed were just plain arguments, which got soooooo violent (TRIVENI)….ah, how could I forget the fact they always fought when left alone together. So yeah, we were carefree people, just enjoying the simple pleasures in life amidst all the stress of the exams and school. We never cared about anything; we just did whatever we felt like doing and had a lot of fun in the process.

We created noise everywhere we went, causing many teachers to get angry with us and simply walk out of the class. We always made life a living hell for poor Ms. Azilah, who had to raise her voice all the time, but was patient with us all the same. We ‘annoooyed’ Mrs. Rupa all the time, who surprisingly controlled her rising temper.

Ah, we did so much, enjoyed so much, laughed so much, and I would never forget each of you till my last day. And yes, I WILL invite all of you to my wedding and try to squeeze you all in as my bridesmaids…gosh, that would be so fun. Then Don and I can go to the Maternity Clinic together when we’re pregnant and gush over our babies.
And I can try to corrupt her kids’ minds with x-rated information as Karmen can show them her totally graphic comics…ahahahha. Ok, I seem to be totally off the hook at the moment…. cuz I’m well, tired and sleepy and teary. So I shall officially end it here and call it a day. Love you all again and I look forward to a gathering together.