Ghost from my past

It’s been almost a year,
Since you and I,
One another saw,
And though I try,
My mind I can’t withdraw.

When I look through
My diary, my pictures,
It’s your face I see.
A series of images, blur,
Now my hands are icy.

You still linger,
Haunting me daily,
Driving me insane.
Caressing my face fondly,
I try to hold on in vain.

Even if I looked up now,
I’d see you smiling,
Motioning me to join you.
The urge I’m battling,
Your ghost, to eschew.

Once you promised me,
When you’d faded away,
Your soul would keep me company;
You’re always at my doorway.
But alone I must be on this journey.

Our souls will always,
Beautifully be entwined.
We must get over, be steadfast.
After all, you’re now part of the skyline,
A mere ghost from my past.

People

Sometimes, people confuse me. Society as a whole confuses me. I mean, we are told what not to do, but not what to do. We’re expected to do what is not wrong, but what proof is there really to show that the right is really right?

Some people just piss me off like h**l, with their narrow-minded outlook on life and their insistence on certain things. They go on and on about what is right and why we should do it, but they’re too stupid to realise that their values might not exactly be right at all.

For example, think about the use of contraceptives. To some, it is right and normal, but to others, it’s wrong. This is how things work. What seems right to us may seem wrong to another and vice versa. So, it is pointless to argue over whether something is wrong cuz there’s nothing that’s ultimately right or wrong. Everything has its pros and cons and I get so annoyed every time people think they’re always right (yes, I do get annoyed with myself too, cuz I can be a total know-it-all sometimes.)

I know so many people have said this, but the really sad thing is that some people still cant get it into their bl***y heads. Ok, I’m really pissed at the moment and this entry seems like a total b***hing session or something.

Sorry, readers, but this is an issue u HAVE to address or it’ll get bigger and bigger and eventually explode into a million pieces ad I’m pretty sure you wouldn’t want me to explode or something, right?

Anyway, I think some annoyingly narrow-minded people should go and reflect on their values and words before they actually start speaking because everything that comes out of their mouth is totally trashy. They think they know everything but actually they don’t, and I’m so annoyed I’m not gonna say anymore and make myself angrier.


Shiny blade, against skin
Tiny incision, just a prick
Bright red spots, staining
Nervous lip licks.

Noises and curses,
Pounding in her head
They will never cease,
It started when they wed

Looking down at hands,
Blade descends upon skin.
Yet another mark of life,
Her head it spins.

More swears, screams,
The front door slams,
The sound of his footsteps fade,
Damn, damn, damn.

Eyes strangely dry,
Blood drawn with hands
Working fervently, in the dark
Face obscured by wayward strands.

Confused, hurt, angry
Hidden in her sanctuary,
She cuts her way through life,
Her escape from reality

Shiny blade, against skin
Tiny incision, just a prick
Bright red spots, no more
And so ends this epic

Nice people

You know, in my previous entry, I said how we shouldn’t be so nice to others…. I think it’s time I take some of it back.
Sometimes, someone being nice to you can change your mind. Let’s say it happened to me like it did to Scrooge. I was standing at Dhoby Ghaut, willing the skies to stop pouring for a bit so that I could cross the road to the bus stop, but nth like that would happen.
I was wishing that I had brought an umbrella when this middle-aged man whom I’d have usually dismissed as a pervert approached me.

“ Heavy rain, eh?”
I nodded.
“ It usually rains a lot at this time of the year, and then decreases around March.”
I nodded again, wishing that he’d leave me alone to my thoughts.
“ You’ll never get home if you stand here waiting for it to stop. Come on, you can share my umbrella. You’re crossing the road, right?”
“ Yeah, but I’m not going into the mall, I’m going into MacDonald House, to that bus stop.” (Was trying my best to drive him away.)
“ Oh, I have no problem with walking you to the building, and then going back. Your parents will worry if you stay here waiting for the rain to stop.”

I was just so shocked and all I could do was nod vigorously, wondering what a nice soul he was.
Then the traffic stopped, and the green man came on, so we walked together, and halfway across, it started to flash and turned red. A motorbike came speeding, and he pulled me away from the road by the arm and I was marveled at his niceness, if there’s such a word.

He escorted me all the way to Macdonald House and then said bye and left, and I was almost in tears. No member of the public has been so nice to me before, and this was just so touching.

Singaporeans aren’t usually so nice because,
1. We’re just too caught up in our lives, and
2. We’re afraid that the other person would take us for a child molester or mugger.

The fact that this man was so nice without caring about the fact that I might report him as a paedophile who’d try to molest me just touched a soft spot in my heart.
Very few people are actually nice these days and even fewer can be trusted…I’m glad it was raining that day because it helped me to change my perspective of the world and the people living in it.
Sometimes it’s the little things like this that convince us that the world is not such a bad place after all. Old man, wherever you are, thank you so much for showing me the light. You definitely made my day. (=

Some people

Sigh, we started lessons today…. GEOGRAPHY and LITERATURE sound great so far.

My brother just got me thinking. He was complaining about how they got homework on the first day of school.

Let me tell you a little about that little monster that can be a real angel sometimes. He got into ACS (J) by PURE LUCK, and as a result has it easy all his life. He’s also the laziest guy on the surface of this earth. He NEVER studies or does his homework. (Did I also mention that he can do Amaths?)

Looking at him and hearing him complain made me think about a lot of thing. I just realised how some people have it easy. Look around you, how many good people are actually happy and lucky? Compare that to the number who are happy and lucky but don’t deserve it all.
Such is the irony of life.
It hurts me to see this happening all the time, and the worst thing is, the nice people are REALLY nice. They are practically angels. They are so painfully nice, helping any soul in need even though it might not be convenient for them. They work hard, have a great heart, and what do they get? Nothing.
Look at the ‘bad guys’. They do the worst of things, and they get away with it all. They roam around, being inconsiderate, lying, and basically being the bastards and bitches that they are. These are the ones who always get the great things in life and always have it easy. They are also blessed with either money or looks or just pure luck, and they go through life in total bliss, unaware of how f**king lucky they are.
Then there is another group…they are not exactly bad, but they are just lazy people who like to fade into the background and just simply want to float through life. We’ve all met people like them; lazy people who want to go through life without a single discomfort. And discomfort they never experience. No, they are usually blessed with brains and loads of luck that gives them the exact life that they want. And these people end up being apathetic and insensitive to others’ needs and suffering

It’s unfair. I say that the nice people should stop being so nice cuz they end up being taken advantage of. All the time. The ‘bad guys’ and lazy people always identify these people and manipulate the situation such that these nice people end up doing all the work It sucks, doesn’t it?
I wonder which category I fit into, but I’d rather not think about it for fear of digging up the old dirt. All I want to say is, nice people, please stop being so nice, cuz it’s just not helping. The world is a cruel place and you should learn some bad habits and manipulative strategies in order to survive.
I think I’m beginning to crap as a result of too much traveling and lack of sleep, so I shall end it here.Love all of you. :)

Simon Birch

Ok, I meant to write this out on New Year’s Day, since I was annoyingly stuck in bed with a raging fever but had time on my hands. Oh well, Since this is a horribly, terribly, stupendously overdue entry, I’ll try to make it longer, but I cant guarantee anything as it’s like 11 at night and that’s way past my bedtime. (Yes, I operate on the schedule of a 60- year-old.)

Ok, well, it all started when I overslept on New Year’s Day, until around 9.30, which is really late, considering that I usually wake up at about 8. Home alone due to the fact that the occupants of the house were out for some New Year’s service, which I was apparently too sick to attend, I slowly rolled about, deciding whether or not to awaken, and how I could spend the morning.

This was approximately when I smelled something terribly nasty, and I ducked under the covers, but it just got worse. Then it dawned on me (late but very strongly, nevertheless) that perhaps, just perhaps it was coming from my unwashed self that had been hiding under the covers for the past two days, emerging only to visit the loo or get yet another novel.

Sighing, I dragged my slightly dirty, probably smelly self to the loo, but this time, locked the door before my legs, which tend to have a brain (or lack of it) of their own could escape to the bed whose comfort they’d been accustomed to for way too long.

It was a while before I allowed aforementioned to escape, and by then, they were trembling with too much excitement over their shiny, fresh, clean, sweet-smelling owner that they forgot about their real quest (temporarily.)

I made myself some really milky, sweet coffee and carrying it in my favourite white mug, wandered over to the TV and treated my not-so-firm arse to the comfort of the ten million cushions placed carelessly upon the sofa.

GETTING TO THE MAIN POINT,

I turned on the TV, and there he was: SIMON BIRCH. Small, cute and clever, he captured my heart straight away, and I sat there watching his tiny self for 1.5, the last half hour of which I spent sobbing my eyeballs out.

It’s basically a story about this boy who was born an unusually small size. He was ostracized not only for his abnormality but also for his radical notion about being God’s instrument who would one day be a hero. It’s really heart wrenching to see this small being overcome every single obstacle that comes his way and become the hero he wanted to be in the end.

If movies came in flavours, this one would probably be DARK CHOCOLATE, rich and satisfying. Gosh, it’s so nice that I declare it the best movie I’ve ever watched in my life, apart from A Beautiful Mind, Anne Frank and the LOTR series. Anyone who loves inspiring stories should really watch this…the guy who acted as Simon Birch was really born with that abnormality and that makes it all the more interesting. It does hold a couple of funny scenes to balance out the emotions. If I had the money, I’d like, advertise this movie until everyone has watched it.

GREAT start to a year, much better than the start to the school year, I should say…comments will come in particularly after I get my O level results and move on, if you know what I mean. J